We all develop patterns in the way we respond to experience.
Something happens and, almost immediately, the mind reacts.
I like this.
I don’t like this.
I want more of this.
I want this to stop.
Most of the time these reactions happen so quickly that we barely notice them.
We simply find ourselves caught in them.
Recently I have been experiencing some back pain.
Naturally, I would prefer not to have it.
The mind immediately begins negotiating with reality.
Why is this happening?
When will it go away?
What can I do to get rid of it?
There is nothing wrong with trying to improve the situation.
I can see a physiotherapist.
I can stretch.
I can exercise.
I can look after my body.
Accepting that there is pain in this moment does not mean that I should do nothing about it.
But there is a difference between responding to the pain and fighting the fact that, right now, the pain is here.
The pain is one thing.
Then there is everything the mind adds to it.
I don’t want this.
This shouldn’t be happening.
I need this to be different.
Becoming aware of these patterns does not necessarily make them disappear.
But it allows us to see them.
There is an old story about catching a monkey.
A narrow-necked jar is filled with sweets.
The monkey reaches inside and grabs a handful.
But once its fist is closed around the sweets, it can no longer pull its hand through the narrow opening.
The monkey is trapped.
Of course, there is a very simple way out.
It could open its hand.
But that would mean letting go of the sweets.
So it holds on.
I like this story because it is easy to recognise something of ourselves in the monkey.
We hold tightly to what we want.
We hold tightly to how we think things should be.
Sometimes we even hold tightly to the wish for the present moment to be different from what it is.
And the tighter the grip becomes, the harder it is to move.
Practice gives us an opportunity to notice the grip.
Not necessarily to force the hand open.
First, simply to notice that it is closed.
During walking meditation, we can notice what appears.
Wanting to arrive.
Wanting to slow down.
Wanting someone else to walk faster.
Wanting the practice to finish.
During sitting, the same patterns may appear.
Wanting the body to be more comfortable.
Wanting the mind to become quiet.
Wanting meditation to feel different.
There is nothing unusual about any of this.
The invitation is simply to become aware of it.
What am I holding?
What am I trying to change?
What happens when I notice the desire without immediately following it?
The monkey has its hand inside the jar.
Its fist is closed around the sweets.
What should the monkey do to free itself from the narrow neck of the jar?
