There is a very ordinary instruction in Zen: drop off delusive thoughts.
But what are these delusive thoughts? And more generally, what are thoughts?
Our thoughts don’t appear from nowhere. They are influenced by our experiences, memories, culture, education, relationships and countless other things we have encountered throughout our lives. All of this contributes to the way we interpret what happens to us.
A past memory can trigger fear in a present situation. Something somebody says can remind us of an earlier experience. An idea we have about another person can influence the way we interpret their words. An idea about ourselves can affect what we believe we can or cannot do.
None of this is particularly strange. It is part of being human.
The interesting question for me is what happens next.
A thought arises. How quickly do I take it to be a fact?
Perhaps somebody doesn’t reply to a message and I immediately think they are annoyed with me. Perhaps something goes wrong and the thought appears: I always mess things up. Perhaps I meet somebody and almost immediately begin constructing a picture of who that person is.
The thought may be correct. It may be completely wrong. Most likely, I don’t yet know.
But once I believe it, it can begin to shape what happens next. I react not only to the situation but also to what I think the situation means.
This is where practice can become very ordinary and very useful.
I don’t necessarily need to get rid of the thought. I don’t have to decide that it is bad, wrong or unspiritual. I can simply notice that it is a thought.
That small distinction can create some space.
This is happening.
And:
This is what I am thinking about what is happening.
They are not necessarily the same thing.
This doesn’t mean that we can somehow experience life without interpretation or conditioning. I don’t know if there is such a thing as a completely pure, unfiltered experience, and I’m not sure we need one.
But perhaps we can become more familiar with the ways in which our thoughts influence what we see and how we respond.
The same applies to the stories we tell about ourselves.
I’m this kind of person.
I’m not good at that.
People like me don’t do things like this.
This always happens to me.
Some of these stories may contain something useful or true. But are they fixed? Do they describe everything that I am? Do they still fit what is happening now?
Again, there is no need to replace them immediately with better or more positive thoughts.
Perhaps we can simply look.
This is one of the things I find interesting about meditation. Sitting quietly doesn’t stop thoughts from appearing. Sometimes it seems to encourage them to arrive in large numbers.
But sitting gives me plenty of opportunities to see them.
A memory appears.
A plan.
A judgement.
A fantasy.
An argument with somebody who isn’t even in the room.
And then perhaps, at some point, I notice.
Thinking.
Nothing needs to be destroyed. Nothing needs to be pushed away.
The thought may disappear. Another may arrive immediately afterwards. That’s fine too.
So perhaps “dropping off delusive thoughts” doesn’t have to mean identifying all the wrong thoughts and getting rid of them.
Perhaps we can begin somewhere much more ordinary.
A thought arises.
Do I know that it is a thought?
